http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/The Honest diary of Lu-Mina - who wants somewhere to write where no one knows who she really is; so she can talk about naughty, truthful, and embarassing things.en-UKMokoFeed10http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/56/dad33b400223647576d797c6a851e2_160x200.jpghttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/18/moving_blog~241759/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-10-18:/2005/10/18/moving_blog~241759/Tue, 18 Oct 2005 03:26:52 +0200 <p>Well guys, this blog disappeared for a while (a couple of days) and now it's back. How bizzarre. I can't explain it. Thanks to Sienna for keeping me posted as and when it flickered in and out of existence <img src="/img/smilies/icon_razz.gif" alt=":p" class="middle" border="0"> .</p> <p>However, seeing as I've created a new blog elsewhere now, henceforth I will be at <a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/main/index.php/lumina">http://www.blog.co.uk/main/index.php/lumina</a> although I wont be deleting this blog, it just won't be updated. The new one is the same blog, same me, same theme, it's just that I'ts more up to date than this one.</p> <p>See you there, folks <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/18/moving_blog~241759/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>movinghttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/18/moving_blog~241759/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/12/the_waiting_is_almost_over~229544/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-10-12:/2005/10/12/the_waiting_is_almost_over~229544/Wed, 12 Oct 2005 01:51:26 +0200 <p>He came to my door in his dressing gown, and disclosed that he had no underwear as it was all in the wash. I knew he was naked under it and couldn't resist him. We went upstairs and lay down on his bed, and I kept hinting that I wanted to untie his dressing gown cord. He said he had run out of reasons to resist me. I was wearing red lingerie and lacy black stockings, and he undressed me til I was just in the stockings and knickers. I would have taken him then and there, but he had to be up at 9am and I wanted to wait til we had no time limit. He kept rearranging the dressing gown so that he didnt flash me, but at one point when he was laying on top of me, it fell open, which I didnt see as we were kissing, but felt, so I felt his naked hard cock nudging the lace of my underwear, felt his velvety tip brush the inside of my thighs, and all I wanted to do in that moment was pull him so he slid into me, nudging my panties aside. This saturday we are going on a lunch date out to a cafe and then on a tour of the castle, and later that day I plan to make my move, to at very least make him come with my hands and mouth, and at best to take his virginity and make him my own. I know now it is not long, and I am the horniest I think I've ever been, from him thrusting against my clit all evening, running his hands over my bare breasts and cupping them, planting delicious kisses on my nipples... I will finally have him in me, and it will be bliss. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/12/the_waiting_is_almost_over~229544/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>sexerectiondressing-gownhttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/12/the_waiting_is_almost_over~229544/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/11/just_so_you_know_i_m_not_dead_p~227632/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-10-10:/2005/10/11/just_so_you_know_i_m_not_dead_p~227632/Tue, 11 Oct 2005 00:07:39 +0200 <p>...I'm still a "lady in waiting" <img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"><br> Well...tommorrow night he and I are spending the evening together. This week has all been 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there, we've both been busy. There's been more of the horny stuff and he showed me the scary questions he has to answer before giving blood, mostly about his sexual history, so I was able to assure him I was all clean and tested. We spend more time with the rubbing, him on top of me, and sometimes, sometimes I think he either cums from it or gets so close he has to stop, but it's so hard to tell through so many clothes. Anyway, tommorrow night I should have a few hours, so I'm going to try and be a bit more pushy... MISSION IMPROBABLE: To see Shyboy's equipment and get a bit fresh with the groping and stroking <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"> .<br> My friend Emily says she and her new boyfriend are really into the whole dry-sex rubbing thing as well, except they do it naked, him on top of her rubbing his cock against her clit til she comes and he comes and they get in all manner of a sticky mess <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"> It sounds divine.<br> So anyway, I'll keep posting, I just wish I had more to tell you guys. His brother turns out to have the same name as the love of my life, but that's another story <img src="/img/smilies/icon_razz.gif" alt=":p" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/11/just_so_you_know_i_m_not_dead_p~227632/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>sexhttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/11/just_so_you_know_i_m_not_dead_p~227632/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/07/he_loves_me_yeah_yeah_yeah~220616/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-10-07:/2005/10/07/he_loves_me_yeah_yeah_yeah~220616/Fri, 07 Oct 2005 01:06:31 +0200 <p>He said he loves me! And he said it first! *runs round the room squealing* Eeeeeee! I told him I loved him too. My wonderful shyboy loves me. He is in love with me. I am loved. I am in love. Life is beautiful.<br> As for sex...well...we're edging nearer than ever and he told me with a smile that his list of reasons for resisting are wearing thin. He says one of his reasons is he's giving blood this month and dosent want to have to fill in the bits on the form about wether or not he could have contracted any sexual diseases. I told him I'm clean and tested. Apparently there are other reasons he isn't telling me, but he says he is gradually finding ways around them all, and that soon there wont be any left. My guess is the giving blood session is his last excuse, so when he's done that he and I will be having some fun. Yes...before October is long gone, my readers, I will have been Shyboy's first.<br> He took off my bra this evening... and did some pressups for me. I don't know what it is about guys doing press ups but it's always made me incredibly horny. Rowr... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/07/he_loves_me_yeah_yeah_yeah~220616/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/07/he_loves_me_yeah_yeah_yeah~220616/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/06/making_the_moment_special~219552/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-10-06:/2005/10/06/making_the_moment_special~219552/Thu, 06 Oct 2005 14:53:53 +0200 <p>There's something so restricting about having no money. I think Shyboy wants his first time to be special, so I'd like nothing more than to hire us a room in a hotel for in two weeks time, somewhere romantic like scottland or northumbria, so we could go for long walks along beaches and visit castles and new cities and have a romantic meal out, then go back to our luxurious hotel room and finally comsumate our feelings. It sounds so romantic, and I can't help but feel that he is waiting til it feels special. But how can it be special if we are just at home, in our bedrooms, surrounded by our every day lives? I want this to be good for him, memorable for all the right reasons. If I only had money I really would arrange me and him a little mini break. It's something I could do in the future but not for a good few months, and if I haven't shagged him by then I think I was will have died from anticipation.<br> Maybe I need to show him a slightly risque movie to get him in the mood, not porn but a movie mostly about sex? I wonder if he's seen the rocky horrow show... whenever we watch something on tv where people end up having sex I hope it will give him ideas but it dosent seem to.<br> If I could figure out his reasons for saying "wait." ... are they shyness and fear, or is he waiting for something specific, like when we've been dating two months, or when he loves me? Is there anything I can do? Maybe I'm not being patient enough with him, maybe I should just learn to wait. But It's been so so so long since I got laid! Nearly 3 months! I'm dying of frustration here!<br> The first guy I slept with, I think we did wait quite a few months, maybe four months, but we were teenagers, not adults. Shyboy and I are both adults... we should be mature enough to deal with sex. Blah. Well, much as I do just want to have some fun, I'll carry on waiting for him. Definately going to try again with bolder wandering hands next time we end up on his bed though. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/06/making_the_moment_special~219552/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/06/making_the_moment_special~219552/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/05/single_beds_have_their_uses~217157/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-10-05:/2005/10/05/single_beds_have_their_uses~217157/Wed, 05 Oct 2005 03:48:21 +0200 <p>Today we decided to try and see how well me and him fit on my tiny single bed. Trying to squeeze on and make out at the same time caused him to end up on top of me, my legs spread, him digging his hard on right where it felt so good... We must have spent half an hour lying there kissing, with him on top of me... I was so horny I nearly exploded! I like to think little steps of progress like this are good... get him used to the idea of being in the misssionary position but with clothes, making the same movements with his hips, and pretty soon he''ll realise it wouldnt make much difference for us to be naked, except it would feel even better.<br> But well....I love him (I almost told him today, and yesterday too, but something is making me hold back from saying it yet. Maybe I want to be sure, maybe I'm waiting til there's a chance he might be able to say it back, who knows?) and I'll continue to wait for him. We do seem to spend every evening making out these days, mostly at his insistence, so I think I'm getting him more and more horny.<br> Talked to A certain Someone the other day and he said he reckons as soon as me and Shyboy do sleep together, shyboy wont be able to get enough of me and will want sex more often than me, if that's possible ! It's a nice thought.<br> Sometimes Im curled up beside shyboy, listening to his heartbeat, and his arms are around me, and I think "one day, not too far from now, I'll be your first." and knowing that special moment is almost certain to happen makes me relax more, makes me happy to take it slow, knowing someday we will go all the way. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/05/single_beds_have_their_uses~217157/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>sexbedhttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/05/single_beds_have_their_uses~217157/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/03/not_much_to_report_i_m_sad_to_say~215027/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-10-03:/2005/10/03/not_much_to_report_i_m_sad_to_say~215027/Mon, 03 Oct 2005 23:08:11 +0200 <p>I've been a bit slow on the updating front... to tell you the truth, there hasn't been much progress to write about. I fear that by the time I eventually sleep with shyboy my readers and I will be old and grey!<br> He and I seem to be making out with increased regularity these days... but it's all lot's of the same really...rolling round on his bed, him on top of me as hard as can be. I made the attempt to stick my hands down his trousers the other day, and he stopped me kindly but firmly and said he wasn't quite ready yet. He did peel my top off yesterday though, which was good. Meh. I'll have to get back to you guys when something happens I suppose. I do love him, I'm not sure if it's too soon, but I do. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/03/not_much_to_report_i_m_sad_to_say~215027/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>sexhttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/03/not_much_to_report_i_m_sad_to_say~215027/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/01/long_talks_ho_ho_ho_what_joy~210387/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-10-01:/2005/10/01/long_talks_ho_ho_ho_what_joy~210387/Sat, 01 Oct 2005 01:11:52 +0200 <p>I had an interesting day yesterday as days with shyboy go. It means I'm possibly even furthur from getting laid than ever, but I'll explain that in a minute.<br> We watched some dvd's in the day... cuddled up on the couch. This seems to have become our activity of choice because I can't really afford to go out at the moment (bit of a money crisis.) He reached out and put his arms around me and I just thought "this is heavenly." I love being held by him, he makes me feel so safe and warm.<br> I kissed him between episodes of a show we were watching, and we got carried away and he ended up dragging me off upstairs to his bed. We spent a while making out again... it's crazily frustrating in a good way...he gets this wonderfully evident hard on and presses into me when he's kissing me, he ends up on top of me, and his hands roam all over my back, under my top, round my sides, stroking. He hasn't got up the courage to touch my breasts yet but he's getting there, his questing fingers reaching nearer each time. I can't wait til he finally does touch them. When we kiss and he pulls me close they squash between us, held so tight against his chest, it's wonderful. I just get so horny when he's kissing me like he has this huge hunger for me, and I know he wants to make love to me.<br> Anyway, after a bit we went downstairs and he cooked me dinner, and then I went out to meet my friend so me, shyboy, her and dramaboy (the new housemate) sat around and got very drunk together. We played games, generally had a laugh and talked all evening, and then we all walked my friend home. On the way there it started tipping it down and shyboy lent me his jacket, which was too big for me so I snuggled up inside it, and he didn't mind getting soaked in just a tshirt to keep me warm...I felt guilty but good.<br> We were all a bit drunk (shyboy knows Im a promiscuous drunk.) and Shyboy and I ended up telling Dramaboy the story of how we got together, the first time me and shyboy had heard the story from each others point of view as well, so I got a chance to explain some of my actions and visa versa. He said some really sweet things about how much he'd fancied me and things.<br> We ended up playing a computer game in shyboys room, and when dramaboy went to sleep me and shyboy stayed curled up on his bed, and sort of talked for hours. Now this isn't totally clear because I was a little drunk and so was he so not only were we making very little sense but also my memory is foggy today, after sleep, but some of the things we talked about were his worries.<br> <strong><br> Shyboy's worries: </strong></p> <p><strong>1:</strong> He is worried that because I like sex, if he isn't ready I will get unhappy and sad about it and take it as an insult. He isn't ready yet, he wants to take things slowly, savour all these experiences, make sure it's special and perfect, and he dosent know when he'll be ready so he can't offer me any assurances in terms of time scale.</p> <p><u>My answer to this:<br> </u>I just basically told him that while sex is an important thing to me, and while I want to have sex with him quite a lot, I can wait, without getting unhappy, I can wait as long as he needs. I think I said forever, and he repeated it in a wondering voice, and said he was really touched that I cared so much about him.<br> I said that he knew I wanted it, so when he wants it, I'm ready. </p> <p><strong>2:</strong> He worries that sometimes he acts like a friend when he's meant to act like a boyfriend, and he wants to keep the two roles seperate and distinctly different. He wants to act like my boyfriend, not just my friend. For example, he worries that when he lent me some money the other day, I might only kiss him because Im grateful rather than because I genuinely like him, but as a friend, he couldnt stand by and not help me out.</p> <p><u>My answer to this:<br> </u>Frankly this one confused me. I think relationships should be based on friendship anyway. I just reassured him that if he's ever unsure about how to act or whatever, he can just talk to me about it. Or about anything.</p> <p><strong>3:</strong><br> He worries that when he spends time with the computer I take offence. (how clever of him to notice!) He explained that playing computer games is for when he wants to relive stress and tension, when he wouldnt be in a very nice mood for company.</p> <p><u>My answer to this:<br> </u><br> I tried to understand this and I do think I understand it better now. I think if were having sex, that relives frustration too, but that's something he can only find out by trying it, and til then I guess I can accept that.<br> <strong><br> 4:</strong> He worries he acts too "frigid" and dosent initiate enough physical contact. </p> <p><u>My answer to this:<br> </u> That I realise it's still very new for him, and that we can take things at his pace, but that I do like hugs and kisses a lot, but Im happy to be the one who takes more of the initative. </p> <p>We also talked about the power balance in the relationship, and lot's of other things and he said some really sweet stuff about how he just gets comfort from knowing I'm nearby and he thinks I'm sort of a part of him, and when I'm happy he's happy, and we talked about jealousy and such (I made him jealous by talking about catboy <img src="/img/smilies/icon_razz.gif" alt=":p" class="middle" border="0"> ) About six am we were both getting quiet and he fell asleep next to me, with his arms around me, so I dozed with him til 7am then got up and went to my own bed. Also, we didn't just talk, we did lot's more making out, more passionate than ever before which was why he was getting worried about the whole sex thing, I guess. I think I'v reassured him that while sleeping with him would be like, heaven, I'm really enjoying the passionate make out sessions on their own merit too. I guess there's no actual rush. </p> <p>I supposed it's fair to say I'm either in love with him or damn close now. I also think it's fair to say it'll be a little while til we get onto the nookie. The thing is though, somehow the idea of having sex with someone I love, someone who has never been with anyone but me, is very appealing...the idea of waiting til it's perfect and right... it's nice. I mean obviously I'm frustrated too, and horny as hell, I want him soooooo bad. But I also like the idea that this, if anything is worth waiting for, that valuable things have to worked for. It isn't like he said we never would. He just said he wanted to take things slow, not rush. Until then I have my dirty thoughts, I guess, and the knowledge that with every passing day the significance of having sex with him increases. Now it's about more than just lust. It's about loving him so I want to please him with my body. It's about wanting to give him pleasure because I care. It's about wanting him to experience the best things in life. He said he does want to have sex with me more than he liked to admit. I think I make him lose control a bit, and I like it. I make a cautious scientist go wild.</p> <p>But I can wait. And when it does happen, it'll be like the consumation of all I feel for him, and all he feels for me. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/01/long_talks_ho_ho_ho_what_joy~210387/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>drunktalksexhttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/10/01/long_talks_ho_ho_ho_what_joy~210387/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/28/bloody_hell~206670/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-28:/2005/09/28/bloody_hell~206670/Wed, 28 Sep 2005 21:51:12 +0200 <p>*Snip* The entry that was here is gone now, I was angry when I wrote it. Basically the jist was that shyboy hadn't wanted to spend the evening with me even knowing full well I was busy the next evening so we wouldnt get to see each other til friday. I was pretty cross about it, because I have a job interview this morning so I was really nervous and just wanted to be held, because that's what relationships are for, arent they? So that you have someone there when you are sad or worried? Someone who will talk to you when you are down, who will make time for you? I just felt as if I was just as lonely as I was when I was single.<br> So you know what I did? I went on msn and started chatting to people, and catboy came online and I only had to barely hint that I was a bit down and worried and he was on the phone straight away. We chatted for about an hour and a half, he reassuring me, talking me through my troubles, cheering me up, reassuring me that I'm not doing something wrong, boosting my ego by complimenting me... I know despite him being a bit too submissive me and catboy were much more compatible than me and shyboy, it was just the distance. Catboy thinks shyboy is a total fool for not wanting to get his hands on me. Meanwhile catboy remains single and sweet natured as ever. He's just so genunely *nice*. I like him more than I have ever liked shyboy, but I fancy shyboy more than I ever fancied catboy, and as for love, well...<br> I thought the other day when shyboy helped me out in a crisis that I was beginning to be in love with him, that I was pretty much there. I'm not sure if I want to be in love with him though when he's so busy and has so little time for me. I feel very far down his list of priorities. He has loads of spare time, he just dosent think I'm the most important thing to spend it with.</p> <p>Anyway, when we spoke yesterday, we said "we are very different." We have been discovering that all along. I think the question now is; "are we <strong>too</strong> different?" </p> <p>For now, I'm going to say that the difference is something I can deal with. Possibly because I'm hoping things will change, possibly because I'm hoping I will change so that I wont mind, possibly because I'm hoping this has just been a string of unlucky circumstances and soon everything will be okay for me and him. It's way too early to give up now. But geez, it would be nice to be wanted wouldnt it?</p> <p>All the same, I have to go to an interview today, and I'm really not well, I had a horrible night, so when I come back I'm going to collapse on my bed and put a sign on my door saying I dont want to be disturbed because Im sick. Then I'll have a "me" day slobbing about being nice to myself til my friend Amy comes over tonight, when me and her will open wine and gossip and giggle. Then friday I'll avoid him til I get my hair done. Then I can bounce back and show it to him, looking gourgeous. Hopefully by then I will have given him enough space and time to recover from his interview and been elusive enough to make him want me. I know girls need to present a challenge to keep men interested, so I've probably been making things too easy for him so far.</p> <p>But really, I shouldnt be having to play these mind and power games. Relationships don't have to be like this. The only time people play mind games is when they feel at a disadvantage, when they dont feel they have an equal footing in the relationship, when they dont feel they have enough influence over the other person. I must be deeply insecure, I guess.</p> <p>I feel so sure though that were I to sleep with him and teach him the delights of sex, he'd realise I was more addictive than his computer. I was probably the same before I'd had sex...probably didnt know what I was missing, probably wondered why my boyfriends were keener than me. Becuase I know what shyboy is missing, and because he and I cant progress towards sex if he wont see me, I'm frustrated. Guess it'll happen in it's own time. He's very kind to me in other ways, it's just... hang on, a knock at my door.</p> <p>Aww, he just came to make sure I was all ready for my interview, lent me a nice pen and sorted out my collar. How sweet <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> Really, he is worth it. After all challenging things are the ones that are worth it, right? Valuable things have a high cost. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/28/bloody_hell~206670/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>frustratedlovehttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/28/bloody_hell~206670/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/28/still_no_action_but_he_s_been_away_at_a_~206004/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-28:/2005/09/28/still_no_action_but_he_s_been_away_at_a_~206004/Wed, 28 Sep 2005 16:59:06 +0200 <p>Shyboy has been away at his interview most of yesterday and today...he's due back at 7 and I'm hoping he isn't going to be tooo tired and not want to kiss me <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"> .<br> Yesterday I had this big crisis with cash and the bank and he sorted it all out for me and was really calm and sweet and reassuring, and I realised I'm pretty much nearly in love with him. This sort of worries me because I know he isn't in love with me yet. On the other hand it's good, because I like being in love, and I'm sure I can keep it to myself for a few weeks.<br> I'm having my hair done on friday, by a trainee hairdresser, ooh err! So it should look good unless they make a disaster of it. Maybe a night when I'm looking fabulous would be a good night to seduce him.<br> I dreamed last night that I got him naked but he was really really tiny , so I was trying to give him a handjob but he was so small it was impossible. Whenever he wears tight little shorts I always try and have a look and see if there's a sizeable buldge there, and indeed I'm pretty certain there is, so I'm sure I needent worry about size...as long as he's at least 5 inches alls well, and anyway he puts up with me and all my faults so even if he is like miniscule, I guess I'd have to find ways of making the best of it. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/28/still_no_action_but_he_s_been_away_at_a_~206004/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>sexinterviewhttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/28/still_no_action_but_he_s_been_away_at_a_~206004/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/27/mmm_boyfriends_are_nice_and_warm_and_goo~203149/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-26:/2005/09/27/mmm_boyfriends_are_nice_and_warm_and_goo~203149/Tue, 27 Sep 2005 00:41:28 +0200 <p>Well, all I got was kissed. Not even bed kisses, sofa kisses. But he had been up since 6am and travelling all day so I'll forgive him <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"> and he did say he'd missed me, and he kissed me really tenderly, softly, lovingly, but also lingeringly, and with a hint of desperate lust kept just barely in check. MMMmmm such spinetingling kisses...I was surprised to be so turned on by slow sensual ones as I usually like crazy wild passionate rough kisses, demanding and hungry. But these were sweet kisses, kisses full of longing and regret that he couldn't just take me upstairs and make love to me. I'm definately somewhere along the trail to falling in love with him.<br> Well, we joked and chatted and caught up but I won't really see him tommorrow because we're both busy and then in the evening his two day job interview begins. That'll keep him busy all thursday as well, and in the evening I expect he'll be a bit wiped out, so I might get a cuddle while we watch dvd's, but certainly not a sexy romp. The night after though, we're going to go out up to campus on a barcrawl, maybe with a few mates, and pretend to be freshers starting university. We're going to wear silly hats and get totally drunk and stagger around and order the cheapest drinks they do, it'll be great <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> we're going to try and befriend some freshers, maybe even get dragged off to a club with a bunch of strangers, and then, when I take him home, and he's a little bit drunk and in a good sociable mood, I'll pounce <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"> . Who knows, maybe then I'll get furthur with him?<br> He did a really sweet thing today when we went to the supermarket. We came out and it was raining so he gave me his jacket to cover my hair because I didnt have a brolly, and carried my shopping so I could hold the jacket over my head, so he got drenched and had to carry heavy stuff. He said he realised I'd done my hair specially to look nice for him today so the least he could do was protect it <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"> .<br> I adore him. I adore the way when he holds me I feel tiny and snuggled up like a kitten against his chest. I adore the way he has a whole pile of soft fleecy cushions and a matching throw on his bed and jokes that guys arent supposed to have nice soft things, but they feel like heaven to lie back on. I adore the way his fingers change temperature, so when I'm holding them I can either leech comfort from their warmth, or warm them up for him and feel like I'm being useful. I adore the way he is vocal about his frustration and desire for me, gently moaning or groaning to show how much he wants me. I just pretty much adore most of what he does, except playing on his computer for hours. He's gonna look so hot in a suit for his interview ^_^ . </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/27/mmm_boyfriends_are_nice_and_warm_and_goo~203149/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>interviewkisssexhttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/27/mmm_boyfriends_are_nice_and_warm_and_goo~203149/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/yay_he_s_back~202638/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-26:/2005/09/26/yay_he_s_back~202638/Mon, 26 Sep 2005 20:03:04 +0200 <p>Shyboy is back, and he bought me a present ^_^ A cute little soft toy leprechaun (Like I needed reminding that he's Irish...I wopship his accent whenever he speaks. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_razz.gif" alt=":p" class="middle" border="0"> ) which I thought was really nice of him. He'd obviously been thinking about me. He'd also bought back some books with him that he thought I might like to borrow, ones from his collection at his parents house. So I know I was on his mind, which is nice, and we're going to spend this evening together, which is also nice, but he went pretty much straight to his computer when he got in which is not so nice. I think he finds computer games more attractive than me. I mean, I love my computer too, but compared to kissing? Bleh. He's wierd. We'll see. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/yay_he_s_back~202638/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>leprechaunhttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/yay_he_s_back~202638/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/lethargic_daydreams~201236/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-25:/2005/09/26/lethargic_daydreams~201236/Mon, 26 Sep 2005 00:15:43 +0200 <p>Is there anything more lazy than a day spent curled up under a blanket reading, playing with sex toys, and watching movies, and imagining your boyfriend making love to you? My mind is always drifting off in daydreams about him naked...I guess I've got it bad! Soooo lethargic today though, and ego at an all time low, so good thing he isn't around. My libido is always up and running but sometimes I dont have the energy to fufill it's demands even when I've got a willing male on hand. If he was here I'd just be dull and whiny. He's back tommorrow so I'm going to make sure I'm all tarted up and energetic for him <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"><br> He kept saying before he went how he really didn't want to go away, and the times he said it were always when he was hard and we'd been kissing, so I assume part of him knew that we couldn't go any furthur in terms of sex before he went away. But when he's back...well...surely we can go furthur now? I sure hope so. </p> <p>In the meanwhile, let's have:<br> <u><br> <strong>20 slightly random sex facts about me:</strong></u></p> <p><strong>1:</strong> I love watching porn with a lover. I make them skip the anal sex scenes and lesbian sex scenes do nothing for me but I love the bits where the guys are getting a blowjob, and group orgies. </p> <p><strong>2:</strong> When I'm having sex a part of me is always worrying about wether or not I'm tight enough, so I'm always clenching up a little to make sure I'm tight. Catboy loved this and said "I adore it when I can feel your muscles squeezing when I'm inside you."</p> <p><strong>3:</strong> When I set out to seduce Shyboy I bought a beautiful pair of lacy polka dot panties and put them away specially for the night I finally sleep with him. This assumes that I'll actually know in advance. It also seems a bit arrogant of me seeing as I did this long before he and I started dating.</p> <p><strong>4:</strong> The first guy I did oral with I never liked the taste of his sperm or even the taste of his cock. He didn't wash often enough and his sperm just tasted foul. I really didn't enjoy giving him oral at all though I still did it, but rarely swallowed and didn't do it as often as he would have liked. Since then discovering that all other men I've tried taste delicious has made me love giving oral.</p> <p><strong>5:</strong> Despite caring for Shyboy and thinking myself an educated sensitive woman, I still worry that his cock will be too small. It's not like I demand hugeness, but less than average would be disappointing. I wouldn't break up over it, but I have to be honest and say that size does matter if you are less than average by lot's. I like a man who can fill me right up. Too big is painful, so yes, size does matter, and neither extreme is good.</p> <p><strong>6:</strong> I've gotten to the point where I don't want men to make me orgasm the first time we sleep together. I enjoy sex so much more the first time with a guy if I don't have to "perform" as such. I get too tense if I know he wants me to come, and end up turned off.<br> The first time, and maybe the next few times too, I'd rather just please him and then have penetrative sex...I enjoy that more than an orgasm anyway. I refuse to fake it with shyboy, so I'll have to be honest with him about how difficult I am to get to orgasm. A guy giving me oral sex usually hits the spot, but I still think I take longer than other girls, so it would have to be in a really laid back situation where we arent too shy with each other (if it was our first time I'd be nervous so couldn't relax enough to come.) and where theres no time limit.</p> <p><strong>7:<br> </strong> I've never had a Brazillian wax, or indeed a wax of any kind. I tried going totally hairless on my pussy once, just for fun, but I had to use a combination of hair removal cream and shaving, which meant it grew back totally fast. I've heard so many horror stories about Brazillian waxes getting infected with ingrowing hairs and such, so I think my pussy can stay furry, in a well kept neat kinda way, rather than a scary rainforrest.<br> <strong><br> 8:</strong> When I used to work in a book store I played with myself a couple of time while on duty because there were no camera's and I worked upstairs. Sundays were slow, so I'd stand behind the desk, slip my hands into my panties, and have a knee trembling fondle. Breaking off whenever I heard footsteps on the stairs only made the eventual orgasm more intense, because it got delayed and started again so often.<br> However my wierdest location for an orgasm has to be the time on the mini bus when me and a male friend had a "race" under a pile of coats, surrounded by fellow students who didnt know anything was going on. I won.</p> <p><strong><br> 9:</strong> The best sex I ever had was on a bathroom floor with the ex I was engaged to. The bathroom was tiny and at my parents house. We locked the door, and I leaned back against it, and he crouched over me and banged me so hard and we had to not make a sound and listen out for my parents the whole time. It was so intense and so mindblowingly good that it stands out from all our other sessions, nearly all of which were also fantastic, and numbered in the hundreds, as four years together = a lot of shags.</p> <p><strong><br> 10:<br> </strong> Once a friend was telling me about her boyfriend in the sixth form lounge, and about how he was begging her for permission to sleep with a lapdancer he knew. When she told me he'd said he only wanted to "slip it in for a little while, just quickly, just once, just so he'd been inside another girl." I got so turned on I had to run off with a mumbled excuse and touch myself to orgasm in the girls toilets. I came fast and intensely, and this has been one of my favourite fantasies ever since; a boyfriend of mine begging for permission to be unfaithful, to have a threesome, to hire a prostitute or allow a work college to blow him. To go swinging, to have extra's after a lapdance, to shag another girl on stage at a fetish club, to become a porn star and do other girls for a living. For some reason the jealousy really turns me on. I have no idea why. Once with my ex I asked him to pretend I was another girl from his work and call me by her name during sex. Didnt really work as he has never had any imagination so he just couldnt picture that I was her. I wouldn't have been able to make that request if I hadnt been very secure in the relationship; the jealousy thing only extends as far as fantasy. If a guy cheats on me for real I am far from turned on. But as a fiction it makes me go wild, I have no idea why. I think it started when the same ex begged me near the start of the relationship to consider a threesome with a friend of ours, Mandy. At first I was just hurt, and although I never wanted to do it in practise, the fact that he wanted to get his cock into her has never failed to excite me. I can come in secconds from thinking about him in a ring of my friends, playing truth or dare with them so that they all wank him and suck him and he fucks them, playing games where he has to shag them blindfolded and guess which one is which, stroking my sisters tits, his prick being licked by my best friends...<br> Well, I know it's an odd turn on, but it's what does it for me. In fantasy, I love the concept that all men are so horrendously randy that they just cannot keep it in their pants, that secretly they are thinking of slipping a legnth to all your friends, that they are so weak in tge face of sexual temptation. Got no idea why I like it. I have so many scenarios, so many situations. He has to fuck his cousin because his family demand he breaks her in. He has to fuck his boss or he'll lose his job. He's sitting round with some male mates masturbating to porn and a girl is going round giving each of them favours, just to help them along. We're on a sofa and hes trying to sneak his hand up my friends top. We're snuggled under a duvet with my mates at a sleepover and I discover one of them is tossing him off under the blanket. He goes on a club 18-30 holiday and gets hauled up on stage like that infamous incident with the blowjobs and has to fuck the reps in a contest in front of everyone.<br> Each and every one of these situations does it for me, and many more. Yeah I know. Im strange.</p> <p><strong>11:</strong> The most disappointing fumble I ever had was in a friends walk in closet with a guy who later turned out to be bisexual. (they always do, the guys I meet. In fact I was the first person he told, in the middle of an english class once.) He got his prick out but I was young and had no idea what I was meant to do with it. I hadnt even heard of handjobs. I stroked it teasingly but he was too shy to explain what we were meant to do, so he pressed it up against me instead and rubbed up and down. When my friends wondered what we were doing in there for so long, we sneaked into the bathroom and continued til he came all over me. My outfit was stained white so we had to clean me up while we were in there and laughed about it loads.</p> <p><strong>12:</strong> I always wanted to order sex catalouges through the mail when I was younger but I was worried my mother would realise what they were. I browse online now instead but haven't been able to afford anything for a while. No one around me knows Im so obsessed with sex, so I'd still feel embarassed if my flatmates found out I had sex toys, though Iceboy knows I have a few.<br> <strong><br> 13:</strong> I'd really love to make a "private video" sometime but my attempts to take sexy photo's were unflattering enough as it was, so I guess I'll have to shag someone who knows how to work a camera in a way that compliments me rather than making me look like a flesh coloured beanbag. I wouldn't even mind if the odd person ended up seeing it, as long as it was no one horrendous like my mother, just strangers, or my boyfriends mates or something, depending who I was dating at the time. </p> <p><strong>14:</strong> I get obscenely turned on by massages so could probably never go to a male masseuse for a professional massage session. I adore having my breasts in particular massaged, but anywhere is good on my upper body. I'm not too fussed about people using oils or tools and things on me...just bare hands are fine! I don't like having my lower body massaged much at all, and I don't like having a foot massage as I dont find feet kinky at all. I also would worship a man who wanted to brush my hair, as it makes me go all dreamy and floaty, as if I'm high, and I feel totally out of this world. Catboy was happy to brush my hair which earned him plus points, but was keener on getting his brushed in return.<br> A guy I met in America, Jason, a few years back now, once massaged me with a little wooden roller tool thing and wanted me to massage him back. It sent me to heaven when he was doing it to me, I got so horny, but when I did it back to him I'd had a few too many tequila's and I think I didn't exactly do greatly at it. He was pretty sexy and very rich and lived in some kind of gated community. He and his friend Danny took me and my friend Gemma out a couple of nights each week the whole month we were there. We used to go minigolfing and see movies, but mostly it was house parties at other posh rich american boys houses, where they'd sit and play guitar and get wasted and tell us about themselves. Jason once hooked up with a girl they called the ten dollar handjob girl because they went to bed together but he was off his head and no matter how long she tossed him off he didnt come and eventually fell asleep. When he woke up there was a ten dollar bill in the bed and she was gone, like she'd paid him for her inability to make him cum or something. I was only 16 and totally wowed by their experience. I wasn't a virgin, but I'd only slept with one guy.</p> <p><strong>15:</strong> Me and my Friend, let's call him Aspergers boy, used to have a really good flirtation going and we'd say that if I was ever single at the same time as him, we'd sleep together. He was painfully shy, had aspergers and dislexia and all sorts of stuff like that, and was a virgin who was always moaning about wanting to get laid. I used to think how great it would be to deflower him, and tease him by telling him how sexy he was and getting him to help me pick out lingerie. We used to send some very sizzling hot texts. I sometimes wonder if my obsessing with "deflowering" shyboy comes from the days that I used to day dream about doing the same to aspergersboy. It's such a powerful idea, being the one to give them such bliss and teach them. I'm pretty sure I like Shyboy for who he is though.<br> I also had a sizzling text affair with a friend of Aspergersboy's, Badgerboy, although I wasn't single at the time. He remembered me from college, was desperate, fancied me, and wanted a shag. He used to tell me how great he and I would be together in bed. A great turn on for a bit, but I never gave in.<br> <strong><br> 16:</strong> I always wanted to be a bloke for a day and see what it's like to have a cock.Just for a day, mind, I like being a lass.</p> <p><strong>17:</strong> I always wanted to try that creme from Anne summers that you rub on your clit and it makes it tingle and go more sensitive...always wondered if it worked. It might mean I could come from penetrative sex alone, or faster from foreplay.</p> <p><strong>18:</strong> me and an ex went to blackpool and explored some of the sex shops there on holiday once, and bought a "tickler". (I think that's what they're called, those wierd spikey attachments you use once on the end of a guys knob, over the condom.) It didn't feel much more pleasurable but it was a fun new sensation, having that rough texture inside me, rubbing me up the right way. I guess it must have done good things for my g-spot or something.</p> <p><strong>19:</strong> I'm a total whore for actors in old fashioned costumes. If I saw a guy dressed as a knight or an elizibethan or something I'd just *have* to shag him, there's no way I'd say no. I probably wouldn't see him again, and I wouldnt do it if I wasnt single. But even if he had a horrible personality, I'd do it, just because costumes are such a turn on. They make me sooo easy. Strap on a sword belt or a tunic and I'm yours, baby <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p><strong>20:</strong> I'd let someone pay me for sex if they were a trusted friend and I was single and I'd said no becuase I didnt fancy them, but they'd said "what about for cash?" I'm so poor, it's really appalling, and sex is so enjoyable, so yeah I'd do it with an ugly guy for money. Probably makes me highly immoral. I wouldn't do it with a stranger for money...too much risk, but if it was a friend... mind you, would I have said no in the first place? I like sex, and a persons skills don't depend on how pretty or not they are. It's not like I'd often turn it down. Still though, if they were really old or something I guess they'd have to pay me. This would also only work if I could somehow guarantee they'd never tell a soul.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/lethargic_daydreams~201236/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>daydreamlethargicfantasyfactssexhttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/lethargic_daydreams~201236/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/24/waiting~199421/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-24:/2005/09/24/waiting~199421/Sat, 24 Sep 2005 22:05:12 +0200 <p>Sigh. I miss shyboy even though he's only been away a few days. While he's gone I have zilch potential of getting laid, and when ones potential of getting laid is hundreds of miles away it can be a bit disheartening. Admittedly the landlord from hell has kept me busy the past few days cleaning the house from top to bottom, and I hung out with a few friends, nothing wildly exciting, just watching movies and having coffee. I don't feel so dependent on Shyboy for my entertainment as I did last week - he was my exciting new shiny thing. Being apart from him is good for us. Still means I get no physical affection though. I can get company and fun and diversion from friends but I can't go off and get kissed by anyone but shyboy. Dropped in on a party for a few minutes on friday but it was mostly a crowd I really don't get on with so I didn't stay. Keep daydreaming about stripping shyboy naked and him doing me on the sofa...lazy unimaginative fantasies that keep me half awake and half turned on all the time. </p> <p>New flatmate moved in today, I'll call him Dramaboy. He's into theatre and acting. I guess he's not ugly but not my type at all...short spikey dark hair, stubbly, a very broad square face, blunt features, built like a rugby player. Manly rather than pretty. I like pretty men. Looks like he spends a lot of time drinking pints in pubs with other burly men after shows. He seems genuine and up for a laugh but there's zilch atrraction there at all, which is probably a good thing. </p> <p>Want shyboy to come back. Been cooking soup all evening and now I'm bored. There's no one in and I've nothing to do but read. Blah. See if I can find someone to drink wine with tommorrow to make the long sunday pass. Roll on monday. Hope he's missing me a little. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/24/waiting~199421/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>flatmatepartywaitinghttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/24/waiting~199421/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/23/sexy_thoughts~196626/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-23:/2005/09/23/sexy_thoughts~196626/Fri, 23 Sep 2005 03:26:38 +0200 <p>Shyboy left for Ireland this morning. I had wonderful dreams about him. In my dreams he came to my room in the middle of the night and said he couldnt possibly leave for Ireland without us having sex. He climbed under my covers in the dark, and he was warm. I sleep naked. He slipped into me and we shagged like crazy with very little foreplay, over and over, so when I woke from my dreams I was horny as hell and very unsatisfied. I never seem to come in my dreams. Had to induldge myself in a little self loving to satisfy my cravings <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"> .</p> <p>Talked to a girl friend of mine today about shyboy and stuff and she confessed something I never knew...she has that thing where her muscles tense up so sex is too painful. Her and her boyfriend have been together a few years, and I just assumed they had a good sex life. Me and her have never really talked about sex before I suppose. She says they satisfy each other very nicely indeed with oral and she still goes to the doctors about it to try and cure it, but mostly their solution has been for her to get fitt and lose weight, something she's doing slowly. I can't imagine how awful it must be for her, wanting her boyfriend so much but never able to consumate their feelings. It must be frustrating beyond anything. Im just glad he's so devoted to her that he dosen't mind. </p> <p>Spent some time with Iceboy today. I cant remember the last time him and me played truth or dare but obviously thats off limits now Im not single anymore <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"> we used to end up groping each other and kissing lots. It was more of an excuse for a quick fumble than a structured game, but it was good fun. Now I can't see how I found him attractive but I suppose I was just bored and lonely. </p> <p>Found myself randomly day dreaming today about what shyboy will taste like the first time I give him head. I cannot wait to get my lips around him. His first bj, and from a girl who knows whats she's doing! I feel very Mrs Robinson. I don't know how I'll initiate it while reassuring him that I just want to blow him, that Im not asking him to boff me yet. I think he assumes all foreplay leads to sex, so that if we do any oral or anything he has to be ready to sleep with me as well. But I'm cool with just introducing him to the wonders of what my mouth can do for him, without needing him to pay any attention to me and my pussy yet. </p> <p>Had conversation with Atobe today about contraception. I'm well aware that a lot of guys don't like condoms and would rather that the girl was on the pill/jab/whatever so that they can come inside her with no barrier between them. The trouble with this is STI's and such. Assuming that at least one person involved isn't a virgin, suddenly there are risks. I for example can assume I'm totally clean, because the only guy I've slept with without condoms had only slept with me and a virgin. However, I suspect before me and shyboy decide to forgo the use of comdoms in the future he'd want me to be tested to check Im free from diseases. He's a very cautious bloke. </p> <p>Overall I have no issues with using condoms. I agree there is an enhanced level of intimacy when a couple are skin to skin with nothing in between, but I find if I've been having rather rough or prolonged sex (and I usually have) the semen stings me inside where I'm raw and I end up in a bit of pain. Generally therefore I'd be quite fine with it if Shyboy would rather use condoms than not. I'm on the pill as well, although I stopped taking it when I was single because I wasnt getting any regular loving and the pill does horrific things to my hormones. I tried the jab once but it took 3 months longer than it should have to get my periods back and I lived in constant fear that I might be pregnant and not know it. I've had condoms split on me more than once. The extra safe ones did it to me on one occassion! I guess I do induldge in quite energetic, hard and passionate sex marathons, rather than gentle careful love making. </p> <p>So generally I have nothing against condoms. Putting them on the guy is always a fun activity, or watching him put one on himself. I can't say the flavoured ones ever seem to taste of much to me, but they were a fun novelty to try out when I was younger. I suppose I must remember shyboy will have things he'll want to try out and experience that Ive already done and rejected as a bad thing. I'll have to be willing to try them all again. But heck, who's complaining if he wants to find out wether or not he likes handcuffing me to the bed and licking chocolate body paint off me? We all do it in our teens and realise it isnt quite as exciting as the "outrageous" connotations it has, but watching shyboy discover these things for the first time is going to be a wonderful thing.</p> <p>A long way to go til Monday afternoon. Sigh. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/23/sexy_thoughts~196626/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>dreamsexhttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/23/sexy_thoughts~196626/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/22/playing_it_cool~194915/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-22:/2005/09/22/playing_it_cool~194915/Thu, 22 Sep 2005 02:44:12 +0200 <p>So basically I backed off a lot today and I think it worked. We had interesting conversations that were amusing and witty, then he went out to see his friend Gingerboy but before he went, he asked if he could see me that evening, which was sweet. I said sure, and when he came back from the pub with Gingerboy in tow me and Gingerboy got on really well plus he was pretty darn cute so we happily chatted and flirted in a gentle subtle way which presumbaly made me a little bit more of a challenge in shyboys eyes - always a good thing. I deliberately didnt lay a finger on him all day, and he kept telling gingerboy to leave in a really blunt but friendly way, because he wanted to be alone with me, which was interesting. I just sat back and played it cool, basked in the attention of both of them and didnt hurry Gingerboy away. When Gingerboy was finally gone (and he looked like a young, ginger Colin Firth, I must add.) shyboy pretty much dragged me upstairs saying he couldnt go away without saying a proper goodbye. We spent a passionate hour on his bed making out...nothing furthur than before but I was okay with that...he has to be up at 6am as it is, might as well wait til he gets back and hes missed me to move it along.<br> He told me several times, in what sounded a genuinely frustrated way how much he was going to miss me and I just laughed and thanked him each time but didnt say it back. Ah ha. Im learning. He told me how tempting I am and how much I fill his head with wicked thoughts and have done since long before we got together. Generally I was warm and fun and didnt give much away so I hope Im making up for my previous clingy woman impersonation. He's going in the morning and I told him with a laugh that I couldnt possibly get up at that time to see him off, more power to me <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"> . I'll just have to keep him wondering a little, keep him on his toes.<br> Yes, Im going to miss him like crazy while hes away, but I havent told *him* that. let him wonder. Let him remember the way I looked at gingerboy with interest. Let him think about how good my body feels against his when he's lying alone in a cold bed at his family home, alone and very far away from me, going days without touching me at all. I even broke things off this evening faster than I would normally have done. Keep him wanting more. I guess so far Ive just given him everything hes wanted on a plate. It's more interesting to deny him the odd thing. Keeps things more healthy, more equal.<br> I wouldnt deny him sex though! That would be such self punishment <img src="/img/smilies/icon_razz.gif" alt=":p" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/22/playing_it_cool~194915/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/22/playing_it_cool~194915/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/21/it_seems_way_too_early_to_have_having_a_~193028/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-21:/2005/09/21/it_seems_way_too_early_to_have_having_a_~193028/Wed, 21 Sep 2005 03:37:22 +0200 <p>So, basically I thought today was going to be fantastic but it was crap. First the landlord sent round builders unnannounced who disrupted the whole morning, then shyboy spent most of the morning and early afternoon with his computer even though we had plans. I finally reminded him of our plans at about 3pm and we spent some time together but that didnt go very smoothly and to be frank I began to wonder for the first time if this relationship is a good idea. Not major doubts, just small ones, but it worries me that I should have doubts so early into the proceedings. Ive never known things to go from blissful happiness to problematic in such a short time frame before. Usually one gets the honeymoon period for slightly longer, surely?<br> Well, basically we ended up having a talk where he explained that he would rather spend a decently large ammount of time with me every now and again, and I explained that I need more regular physical affection even if not for very long at a time. A kiss every day is better for me than 7 kisses delivered once a week, if you see what I mean. Well, he and I did talk. It felt horrendously wrong to be having "a talk" after dating 10 days or so, but I guess he and I are just very opposite. He just isnt as into touching and kissing as I am. I dont know why not. It bothers me. I dont know how serious it's going to be in the long run. If he is *never* gonna be into the physical affection thing then we might as well give up now.<br> I dont know...I think we sorted things, but Im not very happy, in fact Im feeling fairly hurt and rejected and typically female. I want to sulk. I did sulk for a bit before we had our talk. Im very confused by him, he's very different from anyone Ive ever dated before.<br> To be fair, he explained how big a change it has been for him, to go from living alone to living with a girlfriend and bunch of friends, to go from having all his free time as his own to having to plan things with another person. It must be tough on him. I see that.<br> Well Im sorry to disappoint my readers, but the whole not having sex thing has become more broad and general. It's now a problem with physical intimacy of all types, and thats more worrying, thus the sex thing will have to be put aside for a few days.<br> The thing is...I thought he was going to want to spend this evening with me because hes going away to ireland for a few days soon. I like the whole "goodbye" thing. I thought we'd spend time making out because we'd miss each other. His plan was more like get an early night, and have a fun reunion when he gets back, more of a hello than a goodbye. His plan makes sense. I know it does. Im just feeling rejected and worried that this isnt going to work out. I like him too much to give up on him. We've talked it through and I think its gonna work out...hes gonna try and be less shy and initiate more physical contact. Im going to try and be less clingy, and not always assume hes gone off me just because he dosent want to spend all night kissing me.<br> To be fair, I never wanted him to spend all night kissing me. I just find it wierd having to act like his friend rather than his girlfriend a lot of the time. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/21/it_seems_way_too_early_to_have_having_a_~193028/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/21/it_seems_way_too_early_to_have_having_a_~193028/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/20/love_and_lust~191178/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-20:/2005/09/20/love_and_lust~191178/Tue, 20 Sep 2005 02:37:52 +0200 <p>Well, Im back to wonderfulness with shyboy. I explained how I dont do the "playing it cool" thing in relationships and he understood what I was going on about. We snuggled up to a movie together and later ended up on his bed again. This time he was wearing shorts and a tshirt so I managed to peel his shirt away and have him rolling round on the bed with me just in shorts, digging his hard on into me. When he rolled on top of me I swear I nearly came there and then, just from having his weight pinning me down. He's going away on thursday so I'm guessing that we wont have sex before that, but a weekend apart from me should get him nicely fired up missing my kisses and such. </p> <p>He is getting bolder all the time, kissing the tops of my breasts, making sure my skirt gets hiked right up round my waist then running his fingers over the silk of my panties where it clings to my hips and letting his fingers trail right down my thighs and calves. He still kisses me ferociously, passionately, crazily, so although I know there are times I doubt how much he is into me, those times are not when we are kissing. When we are kissing he leaves me in no doubt how much he desires me. He made some comment...I cant remember exactly what now, but it made it sound like after he comes back from ireland, we will probably not be able to resist each other any longer. Imagining him slipping into me, hard and hot and a little nervous but very eager, grinding his hips to push himself in deeper...thats the stuff that orgasms are made of. </p> <p>So maybe next monday night, or maybe the wednesday... and even if not those days its only a matter of time. He wants me. The hardness in his pants tells me so more eloquently than any words could do. We have all of tommorrow together too with nothing to do, and we've already agreed to stay up late tommorrow night, just the two of us, so who knows what might happen?</p> <p>Told him tonight that there was something I wanted to tell him and wanted to mean it. He froze. He thought I was talking about love. He thought I was going to tell him I loved him. I wasnt. That wasnt what I meant. Its too soon for love. He laughed verrrry nervously and said "I think I can guess." Instead I told him what I'd been meaning to say, that as soon as he wanted to go furthur, I was more than ready, but that he was worth waiting for, and that I could be patient. Was vaugely shocked that he had thought I was about to declare love. Im not quite THAT scary! </p> <p>I think he was relived when that wasnt what I said, but all the same... that he got afraid of me in that moment was awful, I could literally FEEL him thinking "Oh, crap." He really thinks I'd say it so early? I guess he still has a lot to learn about me. I might tell him in a month or a few weeks after whenever I first feel it, but I am not in love yet. I'm very fond of him and very addicted to him and I think hes wonderful and I lust after him considerably but I wouldnt call that love and we've only been together 9 days or so. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/20/love_and_lust~191178/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>sexlustlovehttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/20/love_and_lust~191178/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/19/needy~190397/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-19:/2005/09/19/needy~190397/Mon, 19 Sep 2005 17:50:59 +0200 <p>Well, since saturday night me and shyboy havent seen much of each other. I think he's been getting a little crowded and has needed space to be alone. Thats the trouble when you live together. I always try not to come accross as needy and clingy, so Im staying out of his way but he must have picked up on it anyway because he keeps making comments like "we're living together all year, theres no rush." and "Im sure you can live one day without us kissing." <img src="/img/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":-/" class="middle" border="0"> not in an angry or mean way, but I know hes only half joking. He has picked up on the fact that I am more keen than him.<br> I've never really known how to play it cool. Im enthusiastic, Im horny, and I like to spend a lot of time with whoever I end up dating. The way I see it, if he and I arent having physical contact I feel undesirable and rejected and get pissed off. My body reasons that if he fancied me he'd be as desperate as I am to get my hands all over him. If he can keep his hands off me he can't fancy me all that much. Yesterday we spent all day apart as I went out with my parents in the day and in the afternoon and evening he went off to play with his computer. Hmph. Today, again, we have spent apart. I made some noises about wondering if he wanted to catch a movie together tonight and he said that was cool then disappeared off back to his computer again. Sigh.<br> I guess if he and I were screwing, we could have sex, spend time on that, and then afterwards I'd be happy for us to spend time apart for the rest of the day, but seeing as we arent screwing Im crazy with frustration and horniness and I want things to progress. But how can they progress if he dosent want to spend time together at the moment?<br> Yeah I know, I know, being clingy. I dont think I'd be being this clingy if he and I were sleeping together though. Then I would know I was his lover and he mine. At the moment I feel like he got bored of me already. Blah. I hate it when Im this dependent. Its just he's my new toy, ya know? The exciting thing in my life? And we've only been going out a week, so I havent got even the slightest bit bored with him yet, but he seems to have done with me.<br> Having sex with him would definately make me feel more secure for a bit! But knowing that he isnt ready, Im okay with us not, if he'd just spend time kissing me or touching me instead. I think it's important for couples to be physical with each other daily if they can. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/19/needy~190397/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/19/needy~190397/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/18/last_night_with_shyboy~188027/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-18:/2005/09/18/last_night_with_shyboy~188027/Sun, 18 Sep 2005 12:49:32 +0200 <p>Great night out at the theatre last night with Shyboy. It didn't start wonderfully though. I spent hours getting ready and when I came downstairs he was waiting looking so smart and cool in a short leather jacket, a black shirt, black trousers, and a dark grey tie with a tribal pattern on it. I complimented him on how nice he looked, and we went to the theatre down the road, but it was strange, he looked so different, I was nervous around him. I fidgeted and asked nervous questions, made no sense, and although he joked about it, I could see he wished I'd relax. When the show came on though, I did calm down, and in the interval I pumped up my enthusiasm and praised the show highly even though I thought it was only so so, which restored the balance between us nicely, and we chatted happily through the interval. The seccond half of the show was much better anyway, and then we went home and he made wonderful hot chocolate with real chocolate, and I'd thanked him for taking me to the show, and although Iceboy tried to muscle in on things a bit, we avoided him. I think he dosen't like seeing me and shyboy together because we were both his friends, and he's worried he'll lose us both to each other. He wont. But he needs to give us some couple space as well, he can't expect us to never want to retreat up to shyboys room alone.<br> Well then, shyboys room! We went up there, and I made no pretense about the fact that I wanted to be on the bed with him, and we went crazy for each other, kissing passonately, he pushed me down on the bed, and we spent a long time kissing and pushing up against each other and rubbing and then I undid his shirt buttons and took his shirt off, and he took off one of my layers, a jacket type thing, and then I got overwelmed by how pretty he looked with his shirt off and started to kiss down his neck, and trail kisses lightly over his stomach and chest. He seemed to like it, but then we began talking and I told him how high my sex drive is, and how he shouldnt think of me as passionless, and how Im ready when he is, and he seemed to like all that but said he wasnt ready quite yet and he didnt think it would be right for us after only a week of dating.<br> We kissed more, and it's still so electrifying...I hike my leg up around his chest, and wrap my arms around him and run my nails down his bare back, and he uses his arms and legs to hold me as tight against his erection as he can, and he moans under his breath and breathes heavily and it's all so horny, ferocious, like both of us are starving for a taste of each other. I kept breaking off to joke that I wasnt sure why he had any willpower or was holding out and he kept joking that he was barely sure either anymore, and we both looked at each other and knew we wanted to do it, but he still insisted a week of dating was too soon and I wasnt going to pressthe issue, but we did keep joking that his reasons for holding out were seeming weaker and weaker, and he did look more and more tempted, particually when he pulled me astride his lap while we were kissing sometime, so he was laid back on the bed, and I was sitting aboard him, just as if we were going to have sex with me on top, and we kissed and wriggled and my clit was just aching and ready to be touched with all this pressure and rubbing going on, but eventually I knew if he really didnt want me to literally rape him I had to stop touching him or I was going to go crazy, so we cooled things a little and curled up and talked, and joked around and had a laugh, and eventually I fell asleep for a bit around 3am in his arms, and he woke me up after about an hour and sent me to bed in a happy way. It was officially his birthday by this point, so at least I got to give him a hint of things to come, if not sexual favours! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/18/last_night_with_shyboy~188027/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>kissingsexbirthdaytheatredatehttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/18/last_night_with_shyboy~188027/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/chaos~186781/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-17:/2005/09/17/chaos~186781/Sat, 17 Sep 2005 17:03:45 +0200 <p>So, we're going out to the theatre tonight, which will be nice, but today lots of my other flatmates came back. (they've been away and we've had the house to ourselves for days.) It's wierd now because Im sharing him with a lot of people so we're never alone. He's spent a long time chatting with iceboy, playing games with geekboy, helping my female flatmate, and generally not paying attention to me. Being a rational, educated girl I know jealousy will get me nowhere and clingyness is bad, and that tonight, for the theatre, he'll be all mine. However, the part of me that is all instinct and basic human id and passion says "no fair! He's <u>my</u> new toy, not theirs" <img src="/img/smilies/icon_razz.gif" alt=":p" class="middle" border="0"> . I am curbing the urge to pout that he wants to spend time with others rather than me. I know this stems from the fact Im still insecure about how he feels about me. I havent pouted or sulked, or given any indication that I might be feeling needy. I gave him a hug on his way upstairs at one point, but I've hugged geekboy two times today as well so I dont think I am being too clingy.<br> Geekboy is single again, but with all the chaos in the house (lots of people moving out and tidying.) and the fact that Im dating shyboy he didnt make a move. He's just gone in a taxi now...bringing the hug tally of the day up to 3 but I might never see him again and he and I have an easy intimacy and always have done. Iceboy is getting pissed off at everyone and everything for daring to have social lives and fun,<br> Catboy decided to accost me on msn today, and tell me very sweetly that he missed me, but wanted me to be happy and was glad I was dating shyboy. Geekboy had let him know. I told him I do still miss him but that Im trying not to and shouldnt, and he said he understood.<br> Less people now, less confusion, its always crazy in student houses when the tenancy swaps over.<br> Hope Shyboy and I will get furhur tonight. Matching pretty pink underwear it is! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/chaos~186781/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>movingtheatrehousematesbusyhughttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/chaos~186781/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/it_s_so_hard_to_be_rational_when_you_re_~185969/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-17:/2005/09/17/it_s_so_hard_to_be_rational_when_you_re_~185969/Sat, 17 Sep 2005 02:52:44 +0200 <p>Okay....calmer now. I make very little sense when I'm frustrated. The entry before this one might seem a lot like nonsense.</p> <p>Basically...</p> <p>Shyboy thought girls didn't have thoughts about sex. He thought I didnt have them much.</p> <p>I have pointed out to him that I do have them.</p> <p>He is a wonderful boyfriend and I don't think I'm a bad girlfriend back.</p> <p>I feel a bit rejected because I fancy him more than he fancies me, and I want sex with him more than he wants sex with me.</p> <p>I have hinted at him that I am a very horny girl. I know men dont always get hints so I will tell him more obviously tommorrow night.</p> <p>I am annoyed that he always wants to go to bed early, because when he goes to bed early we dont get to kiss much.</p> <p>He dosent seem to mind when we dont get to kiss much. This also makes me feel rejected.</p> <p>But... he has said that he has to keep his hands off me when he wants an early night, that he just cant resist me,that I tempt him, he cant stop touching me, etc. So its not like he dosent desire me. He desires me so much he has to sit the other side of the room sometimes just to make sure he gets a sane ammount of sleep.</p> <p>If I was sleeping with him, I wouldnt be so insistent that we spent time making out each day. I just need to feel like Im making progress each day physically with him, or I worry that things will grind to a halt.</p> <p>he was really sweet today, paying for the tickets, wrapping me in a blanket when I was cold, calling me a cat-girl, buying lynx for himself because I mentioned I like it on a guy, and I shouldnt overlook the fact he's wonderful. </p> <p>I need to make it clear to him where I stand (ie: Im horny. Take me now. If not now, take me as soon as you are ready. But when you're ready, I am.) tommorrow night. </p> <p>Then he can come get me when he wants me, and there wont be any more misunderstandings where he thinks Im pure of mind and interested in things moving slow. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/it_s_so_hard_to_be_rational_when_you_re_~185969/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/it_s_so_hard_to_be_rational_when_you_re_~185969/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/title~185959/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-17:/2005/09/17/title~185959/Sat, 17 Sep 2005 02:37:52 +0200 <p>Sometimes I just don't understand men at all! <img src="/img/smilies/grayupset.gif" alt=":##" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Spent a wonderful day with Shyboy...picnic on university campus, walking back the 5 miles to town in the dusk talking, booking tickets for the theatre tommorrow night, then lying round in each others arms all evening with a dvd under a blanket. And yet, and yet... every night we don't start kissing til late, and then he claims it's too late at night to continue and that he wants to fix his sleep pattern. He says "we can't always allocate 6 hours to kissing, we both have stuff to do." and I said "well yes, I know we dont have 6 hours, but one hour would be better than nothing."</p> <p>If we started this stuff earlier in the evening then he could sleep early, I'd get my horny kissing quota, and everyone would be happy. Put this to him, and although he laughed and said he'd make a note of it, he didnt seem to really understand. I want to explain to him. I tried to explain to him. How a good day for me is a day with lot's of physical contact, touching kissing, sexy stuff, but he just seemed more confused. What am I rushing for? I don't know. I don't know. There's no urgency, no deadline, except my sexual desire for him is urgent, makes me feel like I need to rush him towards the conclusion of sex. I musnt rush him. I musnt. I just wish he wanted this as much as I do. Im so frustrated. </p> <p>I tried to explain to him that even if we were to sit apart all evening, the x rated thoughts would still be going on in my head (he felt it was his proximity that turned me into a horny little lust creature, didnt realise Im always crazy with lust, even when Im not being touched.) but we don't need to be physically touching for me to be horny as hell and I tried to explain this to him. He seemed shocked, surprised, said he realised it was just a dumb gender stereotype but he hadnt realised girls thought like that, he thought I was innocent, pure etc. </p> <p>GRRR, how can he be so blind? Can't he see I'm despterate, mad, utterly utterly crazy to get him into bed? Can't he see I want him so much I can't think straight? And yet he asumes I want GIRL STUFF like romance and taking it slowly and kittens and flowers and god knows what else. Yes, thats nice. Very nice. Wonderful in fact. But he shouldnt presume that liking romance means I cant be yearning for a good screw too. I'm so...so....wild, that he should think Im some innocent with no longings! No passion! I pointed out to him that when we kiss, it's hardly tame or anything. </p> <p>I've told him I own handcuffs. I've mentioned that I sort of want to rip all his clothes off all the time, that making out with him is so electrifying, and yet still he goes for the dumb gender stereotype and assumes because Im a girl I have no interest. I told him. I told him I have healthy desires. I told him I have more interest in this stuff than I guess most girls do. I've hinted and hinted and hinted and still he wants his sleep pattern and his sensible early nights! GAH! I don't know what to think. Dosen't he want me like I want him? Has he only been holding back because he thinks I'm shy and sweet and not interested in moving too fast? Have we both been holding back out of respect for each other?</p> <p>Dosent he know me at all?</p> <p>I just feel like if he'd seen the real me, he'd know that as well as being a crazy, arty, hippy Im also sex mad. Can't he see it in my eyes, when I look at him like I want to eat him up? Can't he tell by the way my hands are always exploring his body, more and more and more? Dosen't it occur to him that there's a <strong>reason</strong> I want to make out on his bed with him for hours? His nice, big, double bed, that I really wouldnt mind sharing with him at all? What does he want? </p> <p>Men are so confusing. </p> <p>Today he disappeared into his "batcave" (the basement den, a strictly guy only zone) with iceboy and they didnt come out for an hour, just talking tech. I'm not male, so I cant have that connection with him, is that it? I want to be seen as a person, not just a girl. He and I were friends before we dated, surely he knows Im not just into shopping and shallow things, that I'm a person with layers and depths?</p> <p>Am I being totally unfair? It was just so unexpected that he could have misjudged me so completely. He went on to say how he just assumed girls didnt have x-rated thoughts. I said "well guys have them dont they? Cant girls have them too?" and he said "yes, we do have them. End of details." and laughed. And then he went off to bed. How is it he can control himself, can resist me, can do sensible things like sleep 8 hours, when Im so crazy with desire I want to throw all caution to the wind, drag him into my bed, and sod the consequences? Does this mean he dosen't fancy me, if I don't make him wild with lust? Or have I been making him wild with lust all this time, but he didnt think <strong>I</strong> was? But I give him enough signals, dammnit. He <strong>knows</strong> once I start touching him I just can't stop. <img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>So, to sum up, he didnt realise I was a horny bint, and I've put him straight a bit, and told him that I go a bit crazy when he wants the early nights, because I just wanna touch him, and yet he still went to bed. </p> <p>What am I doing wrong, guys and gals? Will he be more bold now he knows I have desires and frustrations too? Or am I forever to be playing the role of the sex crazed person only out for one thing, and he forever the role of the shy and frightened virgin, wronged by my dirty advances? <img src="/img/smilies/graydead.gif" alt="XX(" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>His birthday on Sunday. He told me I was a "cool" girlfriend the other day and said not many guys get a cool one. I'm trying so hard to do all the right things. Im understanding. I never nag. I try and pre-empt his every wish, Im totally desperate to bed him, and If he said jump I'd ask "on which planet?" never mind "how high?" <img src="/img/smilies/graysmilewinkgrin.gif" alt=";D" class="middle" border="0"> For his birthday I said if he wants peace and solitude he just has to say, and I'll bugger off. I make everything a fun joke. I not the scary nagging type. I dont do long serious doomful talks about why he's doing everything wrong like some scary girls. I dont sulk. I dont punish him. I dont get mad at him. I give him space. So why hasn't he picked me up, tossed me onto his bed, and taken me then and there? How can he sleep when I cant, for wanting him in me? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/title~185959/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>sexfrustratedstereotypehttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/17/title~185959/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/16/rubbing~184140/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-16:/2005/09/16/rubbing~184140/Fri, 16 Sep 2005 05:20:50 +0200 <p>Me and shyboy were watching dvd's again tonight in the lounge when I started to trace my foot up and down his leg. I was wearing stockings so the silky smoothness must have been nice...he got distracted, kissed me, and we missed the rest of the dvd because he's such a passionate kisser. It's very intense, the way he kisses, he dosent just use his lips and tongue but his whole body, all of him gets involved. He uses strong hands to hold me close to him and mould me to his body, he strokes my legs when I wrap them round him, he thrusts against me, with muffled moans in such a wonderful rubbing pushing motion that I don't know what to think or do excpet "oh dear god!". He totally loses me in the lust of it, and we kiss and kiss and kiss. We were sliding down the sofa because we were wriggling and pushing up against each other so I shyly suggested moving to his bed.<br> We went upstairs to his bed, and kissed, and rolled around, and rubbed some more, and although not much else happened, it happened for hours and hours and hours with neither of us wanting to let go, just on his bed, making out. He drives me wild, crazy, passionate, I just end up stroking all over his back and his chest and his stomach, sliding my fingers slightly under his waistband. He dosent seem too shy about getting a stiffy with me anymore, and instead of hiding it he thrusts and grinds it into me, his pelvis against my hips, my clit, my thighs, hard and pressing, rubbing and pushing. It's fantastic, and I push back, I make it known that I want our bodies to interlock. I made some comment about wanting to tear all his clothes off, and he laughed and said "not tonight." but the thing where I give him sexual favours for his birthday is looking more and more likely, which delights me totally. I asked what he wears in bed (boxers, but he keeps a dressing gown handy.). I asked him if he'd ever wander the corridors in just his boxers and he said "that would be bad if I saw you..." sugestively. The idea that I make him hard is still so new and thrilling.<br> When we werent locked in a tight, passionate make out session, we laid on his bed listening to late night radio and talking and snuggling. I know he's going to have a lot less time for me when term starts because he's a student, and he hinted that it would be good if I had a job because then I'd actually let him out of bed to get to his lectures, haha. We finally managed to let go of one another a few minutes ago. I dont know what to say, except wow, and that he's pretty into the whole dry sex, rubbing up against one another thing. He was definately enjoying himself, with all the grunting and moaning and panting...mmm... so animal and horny! I thought it was going to take months before he and I got up to anything more, but now I'm not so sure. Next step I guess is that he touches my breasts. Would be a bit forward to stick my hands down his pants if he hasnt even groped my top half, I suppose.<br> I adore him, and I dont think Ive ever dated someone I wanted so much. I love kissing his neck, running my fingers over the fluffy hair around his navel, burying my face under his chin like a small burrowing animal, for security. I'm not in love, but give it a week and I very well will be. He does, at this moment in time, possess the power to break my heart if he turned into a total git. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/16/rubbing~184140/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>rubbingbedsexkissinghttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/16/rubbing~184140/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/15/wow_wow_wow_wow~182198/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-15:/2005/09/15/wow_wow_wow_wow~182198/Thu, 15 Sep 2005 06:09:12 +0200 <p>Wow, wow, wow, and wow! I'm going to explode! Me and shyboy just spent the most amazing evening together. Today was responsible adult day, haha. We spent the day defrosting the fridge (what joy) I cooked posh pasta for us both, and we listened to classical music over dinner. Then we got bored of being mature and curled up together to watch dvd's of Buffy the Vampire slayer. I leaned back against him on the couch and he wrapped his arms around me and stroked my hands and arms, our fingers interlocking, stroking, seeking. After seven or so hours of this I started to fall asleep on him not leaning back on him anymore but curled up in a hug. Somehow my arms got right round his back and when I found his spine to stroke, I got really turned on by stroking his back, and nuzzled into him, pressing my breasts and body against him intimately.<br> When he scooted lower on the sofa at one point to look me in the eyes, I kissed him. It was nice, the right moment, not too tense, but wonderful. He kissed, well, like he'd never kissed before, which he hadnt, but not badly either. His stubble was a little harsh on my chin, but other than that, all was well, and he more or less swept me off my feet with his tongue work. Very raw and passionate and real. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif" alt=":>>" class="middle" border="0"> We kissed and kissed and kissed, and when we broke off I said "wow!" and he went "...that was new." and we both laughed a lot together and then kissed more for about half an hour, pressing up so close to one another, weaving our hands all over but nowhere explicitly sexual, but he kept acting like he really really would have liked to screw me in that moment, and well, I wouldnt have minded the same thing, the passion was amazing. We finished kissing about ten minutes ago and he went up to bed, but I'm still so horny, there were points where I really thought I'd come just from kissing him, it was so electric.<br> He had a hard on that he very sweetly got embarassed about when we sat up and tried to pull his tshirt down over, but I saw anyway <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"> Glad I had that reaction on him, glad I was his first kiss, glad it felt so so so horny to kiss him, because now I'm sure that between the sheets he and I are going to equal a party, fireworks and all. My chin is sore now <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"> too much kissing a man with stubble will do that I guess. Good god, I don't think I've ever had a kiss so intense, or fancied anyone I've kissed this much. Soooo much tension but sooo worth it. These days every night when I undress my panties are just soaked with lust, and it's wonderful to know he does such things to me that I'm turned on all day. I want to be his entirely, give my body right up to him. My clit is totally screaming for attention right now. Hope he is touching himself upstairs right now... thinking of me.<br> He said he had been thinking about kissing me goodnight anyway, but Im glad I took the advantage when I did. Who'd have thought just kissing would feel so amazing? He told me he'd been worried about his technique and wether or not he would do it right. Aww, bless! Wish I was in his bed right now. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/15/wow_wow_wow_wow~182198/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>sexturned-onhornykisshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/15/wow_wow_wow_wow~182198/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/14/maybe_tommorrow~180034/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-14:/2005/09/14/maybe_tommorrow~180034/Wed, 14 Sep 2005 02:19:04 +0200 <p>Wierdly, today, we cleaned the kitchen. Because I live in a student house...well...you know what university students are like? It was pretty filthy. I myself am not very messy but two of my flatmates seem to be on a first name basis with mould and grime. Shyboy decided he wanted to clean. I was trying to squash my impulses to fling myself at him and suffocate him with needy affection, so I kept my distance physically and he seemed pretty tired so I helped him make the kitchen perfect and shiny (took us about 4 hours.) and when that was done, he said he was too tired to do anything else and appologised. </p> <p>He'd only had about four hours sleep and it was midnight or past that, so I didn't whinge too much, but I gave him a reasonably brief hug which he didnt seem to mind and went to bed. I just wanted to hold him and hold him and not let go for at least an hour... but I don't want to be scary, so even if he is addictive to touch, I should bear in mind I probably am not so addictive to him in return. I did leave myself open to a kiss, but he was pretty sleepy and out of it so I'll forgive him for not taking the oppurtunity. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>It's his birthday on sunday. I wish, I wish so much I could either buy him something wonderful, or please him sexually beyond his wildest dreams, for a present. Unfortunately Im totally strapped for cash, and dragging him to bed isn't what he wants at the moment, I think, although I thought when we hugged tonight I felt him get hard. I must have patience. I would give him his first kiss for his birthday, but it seems likely we're going out on a date to the theatre on saturday night so if we haven't kissed by then, Im sure we will at the end of that. </p> <p>Instead, because he knows Im poor, I've told him I'll be his slave for the day, and he can use me to do chores and carry things or whatever. Personally I'd rather be a more kinky version of a slave, but I don't think he's quite ready for that yet. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"> Hinted at him that I like handcuffs today and he seemed amused. Hope he wont mind dominating me in bed. </p> <p>In some ways today I've been a bit annoyed with myself, for wanting him so much, for feeling so clingy, for craving his touch. I don't like it when Im so dependent and weak willed. I know he can't be as obssessed with the idea of touching me, and anyway has a lot of restraint, so it isnt good for me to always be indicating how much I want to get my hands on him. In his arms tonight when we hugged, it felt wonderful but I wasnt there long enough by far, and all the time my hands want to wander and explore. As it was all I did was let my thumb stroke the base of his spine through his t-shirt. He's quite sweet when he's sleepy, like when I woke him up when we feel asleep together on the sofa the other morning...very reluctant to let me go, he wraps heavy sleepy limbs around me tightly, so I feel safe and secure, and he seems very vulnerable in a way that he isnt when he'd fully alert and awake. During the day he is very independent and self reliant, but when he's tired, he seems more submissive and that's sort of sweet. </p> <p>He said we could watch another movie together tommorrow, so I guess I better get some sleep. I suppose after the wonderfulness of yesterday, today just seemed a bit of a step backwards, and it worries me that I want him so much. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/14/maybe_tommorrow~180034/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>hugkitchencleaninghttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/14/maybe_tommorrow~180034/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/13/wonderful_night~178874/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-13:/2005/09/13/wonderful_night~178874/Tue, 13 Sep 2005 16:21:10 +0200 <p>I've spent the past few days being really happy, which strange though it sounds I don't remember having been for ages. Being shyboy's girlfriend has so far been wonderful. We still, STILL, havent kissed, if you can believe that! But yesterday was the most amazing day with him. We both had a long lie in, then got up and went to town where we bought some board games like risk and monopoly and scrabble, crazy as it sounds, because he wanted some for the house. When we got back we were reading the rules of risk and ended up in an epic and flirty battle to conquer the world. He won, so we went upstairs to play a game on his playstation as well (we'd decided to act like kids for the day and have no responsibilities.) We laid around on his bed to play the game, so I kept hinting about how distracting it was to be lying on a bed with him, and then we laid there and talked for a while til we realised we hadnt eaten yet that day and it was 9pm. </p> <p>We went together to the supermarket, like a real couple, finding wonderful ingredients, and then came back and he cooked a delicious three course mexican meal, which was so tasty, and we had the wine I'd bought to go with. After dinner we sat on the sofa in the living room and watched a movie and drank more wine, and I leaned on his shoulder so he put his arms around me, and that, folks, was when I was so happy I could have burst, and totally horny, and falling so badly for him already. We laughed and joked about it but neither of us wanted to stop holding the other, so although we ended up listening to music, whenever the cd stopped we'd have to debate wether or not to get up and put another one in, because neither of us wanted to be parted. Being pressed close to his body, feeling his heat, listening to his breathing, was more wonderful than well...more wonderful than even sleeping with other people has been. I was totally in bliss. </p> <p>We played truth or dare for a bit, and when I asked him what the most interesting thought he'd had in the last hour had been, he said it was that he'd wondered how he was going to kiss me for the first time...wether he was going to just swoop in and take me by surprise or wether he was going to joke and warn me that he was going to do it. I grinned and said I'd let him figure out for himself how he wants to do it. It was interesting because I'd been having the same thoughts myself. He also said he'd wondered what my reaction would be if he took me home with him one weekend to Ireland, to meet his folks, and I asked him if he wanted to come to my mothers house warming party at the end of october. </p> <p>Eventually we both fell asleep on the sofa, my head on his chest, his hand stroking my arm, my arm around his waist, and his around my shoulders. It was wonderfully electric, touching him, so I was constantly horny and alive feeling, but also relaxing, he calmed me. After dozing for half an hour I saw that it was 7am and gently woke him, interlacing my fingers with his and explaining I had to go sleep in a real bed or I was going to wake up very cramped, so we parted ways (he was really sweet and sleepy and dozy so I didnt kiss him.) and I got some sleep til about 2pm.</p> <p>I'm so so so crazy about him, it meant so much just to be hugged by him, and it felt so good. I can't imagine what it will be like when he finally kisses me, makes love to me, runs his fingers all over my flesh. I could hold out fo a very long time to be with him, but I'd be aching to touch him every minute. Oh dear, what will become of my blog if Im to fall in love? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/13/wonderful_night~178874/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>dinnerwinehughttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/13/wonderful_night~178874/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/11/lucky~173825/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-11:/2005/09/11/lucky~173825/Sun, 11 Sep 2005 05:59:19 +0200 <p>Well, I asked him out! I just got up the courage and asked, with lots of joking and larking about and one large drink of Bols blue and lemonade inside me. He said yes! <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> Lalala happy lu-mina. He was going to ask me out in about a week but was glad I'd asked. We're going on a date to the theatre in a few days...we have to check what's on. I'm sooo gonna wait til the end of the date to kiss him, to make it special. But there you have it, Im officially someones girlfriend again after many months of guy chasing and such. Im so ecastatic about this, and he looked so handsome tonight, with his dark stubble and deep blue eyes.</p> <p>Earlier in the evening Geekboy and me were messing around tickling each other and hugging (mostly to get shyboy jealous, an act geekboy knew we were part of.) and Geekboy tried to kiss me, but I just laughed and told him "thats not fair." and then he went out to meet a girl friend and she ended up as his girlfriend, so it was quite amusing when he came home at 3am and said "Im seem to not be single anymore" and I just looked at shyboy and smiled and said "ditto." <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Can't believe how lucky I am, and can't stop smiling. He only just wandered off to bed, leaving me with a posession of his to hug in the night, hee hee. Im totally wet through, so horniness is definately a feature here, but Im also just happy, and delighted, and honoured, and really rather excited about what's going to happen next with shyboy, and pleased to be his first girlfriend. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/11/lucky~173825/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>luckgirlfriendhappyboyfrienddatehttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/11/lucky~173825/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/11/happy~173807/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-11:/2005/09/11/happy~173807/Sun, 11 Sep 2005 04:31:03 +0200 <p>officially not single now <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> talk later. woot! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/11/happy~173807/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>singlehappyhttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/11/happy~173807/#commentshttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/10/grrrr~172798/tag:lu-mina.blog.co.uk,2005-09-10:/2005/09/10/grrrr~172798/Sat, 10 Sep 2005 14:57:42 +0200 <p>I'm feeling a bit disheartened. Im sick of putting in all the effort. I'm sick of being the "keen" one...its making me look clingy and posessive and I dont like that. I want some goddam evidence that this is going to pay off, that he is actually going to date me. Im pissed off and I know its just me being moody but Im sick of getting nowhere and making no progress. I never was very patient. Just a compliment or two would make my day, from him. Just a sign that Im not wasting my time. And no, before anyone asks, this isnt PMT, this is just me being a bitch generally <img src="/img/smilies/icon_razz.gif" alt=":p" class="middle" border="0"> . </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/10/grrrr~172798/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>bitchangryhttp://lu-mina.blog.co.uk/2005/09/10/grrrr~172798/#comments