My general sense of desperation continues apace - I had a dream last night that I was letting a random guy seduce me, even though I didnt fancy him, I was just so desperate to get some. I'm not sure I would in real life - probably not - but in the dream I was less cauitous, and just before I woke up I was giving him a bit of oral on a camp bed. :-/

Me and my toys had a fun time this morning, a nice little fantasy about Shyboy got me up and running. I can't decide wether I like the fact he's a virgin or not. On the one hand its great - he's never known anyone else so there will be no unflattering comparisons to other naked chicks - I wont have to wonder if they were tighter than me, less vocal, better at blowjobs etc.

But teaching him from scratch...well...it's going to be a long job, and realistically speaking, seeing as practise makes perfect, I guess I can't expect him to be fantastic for a while. I dont want to go back to how it was with my first lover, where I was barely enjoying myself at all. On the other hand, one of us knows what they are doing, so it will be very different from back then. And this way, he wont have picked up habits from ex girlfriends - fail safe seduction tricks that they loved but I might hate.

I had an ex once who's ex girlfriend absolutely loved him to bite her arse. He thought it was the biggest turn on a girl could have, poor lad didnt realise that it didnt do it for every girl - had to sit him down and have a talk :p I'm guilty of it myself too - I always try and ask what a guy likes, but if he's too shy and wont talk about it or show me with his actions I'm likely to go with whatever my ex liked I suppose.

Of course, all this is asuming Shyboy still likes me and wants to date me. He might not, or I might get too shy to initiate anything anyway. He's moving into the house a bit earlier than I expected - sometime around the 6th of September I think, even though he isnt really meant to until the 22nd of september. He's visiting for a few days exactly a month earlier than that; the 22nd of this month. Well, Im not complaining. He says he'll sleep in a sleeping bag under the dining room table if necessary. I'm really pleased about the idea of having him around - I'll be able to get more used to him so I can relax around him and not make a balls up of things like I normally do when he and I are alone.

Me and Iceboy were talking about Shyboy today, actually, and Iceboy was talking about him moving in his stuff. I said it might be a bit hard to clean the house if there are lots of boxes in the way (we're meant to do a big clean up before the new contact starts) but Iceboy said "He's doable" rather than "It's doable." I laughed, said "yes, he is!" and happily entertained myself for the next few minutes with thoughts of the two of them togther, erm "doing", as such ;) There's something sexy about two guys together *ducks as people throw stones at her for saying so* not the final ultimate act, obviously, I just dont think about that, thats their affair, but two guys kissing, cuddling, touching each other, sucking and licking each other...thats nice. I don't think it's wierd to like it. Afterall, some guys like lesbians together dont they? Heck, I've even heard lesbian twins is supposed to be a big turn on for those who like women. : /

Me and Shyboy have actually slept together.....NO not like that! heh. Once I had a friend to stay, and me and shyboy and a few others had been up all night playing computer games in the lounge. My friend was meant to be kipping in the lounge but no one showed any signs of wanting to sleep so I sent the friend to use my bed as he was totally shattered and really wanted some sleep. Then I used the fold out bed in the lounge when everyone finally went to bed, and Shyboy stayed in a sleeping bag in the dining room, which connects on and is practically the same room seeing as a huge archway connects them and you can barely tell they are two different rooms. I pretended to be asleep because I got into bed while he was upstairs getting ready, but I was actually awake when he padded downstairs.

I heard him pause in the doorway for a while (this was a while before I sent him the valentine, so I didnt know if he liked me or not and he didnt know that I liked him.) and I got the feeling he was watching me sleep, then he said softly "goodnight" and got into his sleeping bag. Trouble was I was on the worlds most squeaky bed, and I was totally uncomfy, so I was trying to sneakily shift position but not let him know I was awake, but everytime I so much as breathed the bed screeched like it was being murdered. I get the feeling I woke him up a few times doing so :| . In the morning I woke to hear a different kind of squeaky sound; he was awake and was repairing his bike wheel in the lounge. I remember lying there for a while, just listening to him work, happy, and then I faked waking up, with a big yawn and a stretch. I was deliberately wearing the black silky nightwear set - theres a little low cut black silk camisole top, with white lace trim, a pair of black silky trousers, and the floor legnth dressing gown - also black silk trimmed with white lace - so I made sure the dressing gown gaped open enough that he got to see the little low cut top and such ;D .

To be honest, I have no idea if he cares about stuff like sex and breasts and relationships - a lot of people who know him say they have never heard him talk about love, sex, or dating, or anything like that, in regards to himself, and the've lived with him and known him years. Some of them even label him asexual. I hope he isnt. That would spoil all the fun. I hope he's just been keeping quiet because he's shy.